When do you let go?

I can feel myself losing my grip. I can feel myself letting go. The harder I hold on the more my hands start to bleed. My mind is confused. I’ve never needed anybody in my life. I’ve been content doing for myself and not needing anyone. Then I met you. As much as I’ve fought and pushed to not get to a point I knew I had never been and you pushed beyond all the walls I had up to guard myself. You pushed passed them promised you love me, promised you’d care. Promised all these things and then let me fall. Now Im left hanging. I just wanted to let you in. I never let people close to me. This is why. This is the disappointment I’ve faced over and over again. This is what I get for thinking people could actually give a damn about how I’m feeling. I try to make you feel needed. But when I ask something of you it’s a problem. How do you continue to want someone who doesn’t want to be wanted by you anymore? How do you keep holding on. When do you let go?

I feel embarrassed that I allowed myself to feel this way. To want another person in a way I never have. I NEVER want to do this again. I never want to have egg dropped on my face like this again. All the emotions I’ve felt. This is the most open I’ve been in my life and it hurts. I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have trusted my heart. The only dummy here is me.