I’m Young but I’m Learning

Dating someone older is hard. They’re in a higher maturity class. Age is always some how thrown in the mix. Whenever you don’t get something or screw up let’s just disregard it as you being human and humans make mistake it always comes down to you’re just not there yet. Its like dating a life coach, spouse, friend, counselor, and a parent all in one. Sometimes its hard to gauge the dynamic of the relationship. Often times I’m left feeling confused about where exactly we stand. I second guess myself I don’t wanna seem like I’m young and dumb. I don’t want her to regret choosing to be with me because sometimes I just don’t know. A lot of the time I misinterpret what I’m being told because I feel like I’m being judged, I’m being rediculed, or I’m embarrassed because I feel stupid for messing up. When in reality I’m just being given guidance to better myself and to try and avoid most mistakes. Maybe its my pride that’s too high. Maybe I over think everything. Maybe I’m too quick to feel like all criticism is bad criticism because that’s what I’m used to. I have to learn to condition myself to take constructive criticism better from people I love. I have to understand that just because I do something wrong I’m not failing. I have to learn that being young I am gonna mess up and I have to grow from it. I have to stop holding on to things and hearing things as means of trying to hurt me. Its hard to change up from what you’re used to. If I haven’t learned anything else. I’ve learn that I am my worst critic and in that I have to stop projecting the things I feel about myself onto others and flipping it as if that’s how they feel about me. Dating someone older I’m learning that I don’t have it all together as much as I thought I did. But I’m very appreciative of the new growing space I’ve stepped into.