Lost

Have you ever felt lost? Like completely lost. Lost within yourself. Lost in time. Lost all sense of direction and sense of knowing. Have you ever opened your eyes and saw absolutely nothing around you? Like everything out of your immediate line of view had a blur that you couldn’t squint through? Everything had a shape and a puddle of color yet no matter how hard you blinked nothing could focus enough for you to recognize it. Have you ever felt alone? Abandoned in your own mind. Realizing that no matter how loud you talked or how hard you flapped your arms you still sounded completely senseless and no one could ever possibly understand the things going through your mind. Alone as in everyone around you has cast you a side like some poisonous specimen that no one took the time to closely examine to know that in your most fragile state you too are human. Alone in the sense that nothing is within your reach and no matter how much you reach out for it and grasp you can never connect. You can never get anyone to understand your thoughts. No matter how hard you fight or how hard you push it seems like nothing is ever consistent nothing ever lasts everything changes up like the weather and you find yourself longing for better except better never comes because every where you look it looks just like the last place you’ve come from and you continue to find yourself feeling… lost.